Unfortunately, for many divorced families, the holidays can be a stressful time. The joyfulness of the holidays can be replaced with feelings of anxiety, depression and loneliness…not only for parents, but for their children as well.
Because of the added stress this time of year brings to divorced families, the holidays are a busy time for family law attorneys. Parents often disagree over holiday plans, visitation schedules, winter vacations, out-of-town travel, and family events.
At Raza & Jones, we understand how difficult this time of year can be. That’s why we’ve created these tips to help you navigate the additional stressors the holidays can bring. Keep these pointers in mind to decrease not only the anxiety surrounding the holidays, but hopefully your lawyer bills as well:
1. Plan Ahead.
If you haven’t looked at that Parenting Plan in a while, now may be a good time. Make sure you understand what the plan provides in terms of the holidays and winter vacations.
If you and your ex-spouse are on good terms, do you need to have any discussions about times/days of visitation and make any adjustments? More stress is added when these things are addressed at the last minute.
If you are not on good terms, send a confirmation email to your ex-spouse confirming your understanding of the Parenting Plan. If there is going to be a problem, it is best to find this out early.
2. Inform Your Children.
Let your children know well in advance what the plans are for the holidays and where they will be for which days. Make sure you have confirmed the schedule with your ex-spouse first to help alleviate any issues. Children do better when there are no surprises.
3. Be Flexible.
Because out-of-town visitors cannot control their travel arrangements, last-minute changes may arise. It’s important to be flexible and accommodating. Encouraging your children’s relationships with all family members is in their best interests.
4. Stay Positive.
Keeping a positive attitude, even though you are anxious and sad about not spending all of the holiday time with your children, will help lessen any anxiousness your children feel. Your children shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for enjoying spending time with the other parent’s family. Encourage your child to tell you about the fun time they had with your ex-spouse and the presents they receive. Remember, holidays are supposed to be fun. Keep in mind that holiday blues are inevitable and, if necessary, seek support from family and friends, not your children.
5. Create New Traditions.
Your children may be feeling sad that old traditions are not followed anymore, e.g., going to your ex-spouse’s parents’ house for Christmas Eve. Create new traditions the children can participate in and enjoy.
Being prepared for the holidays well in advance can really cut down on any unnecessary arguing and potentially reduce attorney’s fees. Most importantly, however, it can help ensure, even in less-than ideal circumstances, everyone has a great holiday season.
Raza & Jones, LLC focuses exclusively on representing individuals in divorces and other family law matters. Through compassionate and effective representation, the attorneys at Raza & Jones, LLC provide clients with practical solutions for complex problems. The attorneys at Raza & Jones, LLC have received recognition for their outstanding performance and commitment to clients. For more information about Raza & Jones, LLC or to schedule a confidential consultation, call (314) 449-8830.